Bucky's Virtual Notebook -- Page Four

US Armed Forces

Army	Navy
Air Force	Coast Guard
MARINES

Parody of The Raven, author unknown

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line,
I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command.
But got instead a reprimand:  it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

Was this some occult illusion?  Some mechanical intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options.
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly, I must now adopt one.
Choose:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."
With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
Praying for some guarantee
Finally, I pressed a key.
But on the screen, what did I see?
Again:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

I tried to catch the chips off guard.
I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards,
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation,
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation,
Choose:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
By my own machine accosted.
Getting up, I turned away and
Paced across the office floor.

And then I saw an awful sight,
A bold and blinding flash of light,
A lightening bolt that cut the night
And shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died.
"Oh, no.  My database," I cried.
I thought I heard a voice reply,
"You'll see your data -- nevermore!"

To this day I do not know
The place to which our data goes.
Perhaps it goes to Heaven where the angels have it stored.
But as for productivity, well,
I fear it has gone straight to Hell.
And that's the tale I have to tell.
Your choice:  "Abort, Retry, Ignore."